My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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