its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
