on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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