So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
