It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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