Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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