apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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