He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
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