I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
