when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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