3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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