Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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