I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
