Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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