You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
