so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
