Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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