I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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