Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
