Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
