we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
