so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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