Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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