my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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