she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I wish there were birth control emojis
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
