okay pat passed out under dana's car
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize