Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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