take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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