I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
