I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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