My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
