OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
