you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
