I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
