Already got asked if we're dating
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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