So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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