so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
