I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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