He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
