she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
