I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
