I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
