Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
