can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
