just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
this just has baby written all over it
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
