Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize