You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
