Don't you send me to vm
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
there's paper in my vomit.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
there is puke in my bra ... again
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