No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
