i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
