Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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