The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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