I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
