Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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