this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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