i just had sex bonerless
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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