My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So drunk its hurt
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
