After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
