He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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