there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
