S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
