After last night, I could never be a politician.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
