Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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