Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
